Sixth form rejection 2 out of 10

I have recently applied to another sixth form making it 10 sixth forms I applied to, however I got rejected again from another Grammar sixth form- Chis & Sid, there reasoning was because I did not Meet their criteria. This baffled me because before I applied I always checked and compared my predicted grades to their criteria, therefore if I didn't think I'd meet it I wouldn't have applied.

When getting told you didn't meet a sixth form criteria it makes you think that you will not get an offer from any of the other sixth forms, this is because most of those sixth forms have the same criteria. Hence getting told you don't meet one must mean you don't meet others right? 

It is hard when your friends tell you that you're smart but you think or you know that you aren't quite up to scratch, especially when there is proof right in front of you. It makes you feel worthless, stupid and useless.

People always ask me what's the difference between a grammar and non grammar, they say that it doesn't make you any less smart whether you get in or not. It is hard to explain my reasoning for why I want to go to a grammar, part of it is because I want to get into one maybe because it will make me feel good or feel like I've achieved something. Another part of the reason is because I want to make my mum proud. 

I love my friends and I appreciate them more than anything, however I can't stand when people say that I'm smart and they're not. This is when they're the ones with the higher grades and offers. It makes me angry when people doubt themselves when they have all the proof in the world in front of their face. Even though it isn't intentional, it makes me feel like giving up and it makes me feel like I'm small and worthless, it is almost like I'm being mocked by words that aren't meant to hurt. 

Ultimately, I have friends who tell me not to compare and that is amazing advice, but it's hard. When your friends ask you what you got, then they say what they got. More over they got so much higher than you and it makes you feel small.  This makes you think I tried my best but it's not good enough, maybe because I'm not smart enough? It almost makes that voice start shouting that you should give up. 

A lot of things can't always go the way you want. Most of the things in your life can't be controlled by you, others have that power but not you. Furthermore most people know how hard it is when you feel like everything is just going down hill, nothing goes right, you try your best but it's not good enough. 

Nothing is fair. We all have to find a way to deal, whether we want to or not.

Even though I haven't really come to terms with this yet, but sometimes education doesn't define your worth, where you go, what you get, it doesn't always have to matter. We have opportunities now a days to use the Internet for our voice. Sometimes you need luck and sometimes your education will not always open the best doors for you. Exams test your memory not your knowledge. Even though we are stuck with the education system at hand, we can't change it yet, therefore we have to find a way to deal with it. I am not saying that education isn't worth it, I am saying that there's more than one path to success. But for now you have to remember that you need to work hard and try your best, improve and never give up. - you are only as good as your last performance.  

Always supporting and voting for you.                                                            
Josephine Beth-xx